by way of review...

for myself and for anyone just starting or just trying to start over again...

weight loss 101

the basics-

-eat healthier.
duh.

-eat balanced.
i try to balance my intake depending on what activities i plan on doing afterward. for example: i eat a higher protien diet usually, but i try to eat the most protien for my morning meal because thats when i need to be able to stay full and focused until i get a chance to eat lunch. for my midday meal i eat more carbs (but healthy carbs) because i need the energy as my body starts to wind down for the evening. by dinnertime i eat my smallest meal of the day. since i usually plan on sleeping only a few hours after i eat, i dont need a ton of protien, nor do i need the carbs for energy. i load up on veggies to fill me up and generally divide my plate into quarters. i make two quarters of the plate vegetables, another quarter of protiens, and the last quarter is a carbohydrate.

-track what you eat.
however you do it, do it, and do it consistently. personally, i have found past success in simply tracking calories. i give myself a goal of about 1900-2000 calories per day. no one can ever eat *exactly* 2000 calories a day, but giving yourself a goal can give you an idea of what to eat and when you should eat it.

-get active.
pretty much self-explanatory here. taking the stairs instead of the elevator, parking farther away, taking time out of your day to be more active. i'm planning on hitting up the gym on campus once the weather gets cooler.

-be self-aware.
this is a big one for me. what caught me up the last time was not keeping track of how i was feeling emotionally. i put a lot of stock into numbers and it just kind of left the emotional part of me hurting. sometimes writing regularly in a journal, in addition to blogging, can help me keep an eye on when im feeling vulnerable or insecure.

-drink water.
yea yea, sometimes this isnt always conscious. i've gone days in a row without drinking any water. those usually arent my best days. i try to keep a bottle of water within reach most of the time, which makes it the first thing i reach for when i'm thirsty.

-wear clothes that are comfortable AND fit you well.
clothes that are too tight or too loose can mess with your self esteem. when your clothes fit well, no matter if you plan on losing weight, you feel better. when your clothes fit you can also better guage any fluctuations in your weight or body. whenever i wear clothes, especially jeans, that are way too big, i dont always notice big, or little gains.

-don't label foods as "bad".
you know the second you tell yourself you can't have something you want it even more. so why not let yourself have some. key word here: some. don't eat a whole pan of brownies. eat one brownie. satisfy your craving, and move on. if having large amounts of tempting foods around makes you feel like bingeing, put them in containers that you can't see through. sometimes when i can't see the food, i forget about it. or, give it away. i'm an avid baker, and i love making things that may not always be friendly to my weight loss. so what i do is keep a small portion of whatever i make for myself, and split the rest up between family and friends. trust me, you'll be less tempted, and your friends will LOVE you.

i'm sure there are a metric ton of tips and tricks for weight loss, but these are the ones that work for me.


what are your tried and true tips?

a full day, a perfect day...

perfect days are so rare, and so wonderful....like a rainbow, the longer it sticks around the brighter it makes your day.

today was one of those days. there was no rainbow, but babydolls, i didnt need one.

i got a solid 8 hours of sleep last night. woke up early enough to not only shower and pick out a cute outfit, but to eat a healthy breakfast, pack a healthy lunch, and put a healthy dinner in the crock pot. i also left the house early enough to make it on campus 20 minutes early, and get a great parking spot.

at this point i was braced for the other shoe to drop right on my head. but it didnt. it kept on being amazing.

home to a hot meal, and now relaxing on the couch with some criminal minds. ready to enjoy my weekend.


lets see if this rainbow can keep on shining. i'm taking it one day at a time.

blogger? its me, erin....

it has been a lonnnnng time...
but you know, i think i needed some time away. not that i don't love you all (cause i do), but because i gotta take care of me sometimes in ways that don't involve baring my soul (and fat ass) to the web community at large.

i've had a whirlwind couple of months this summer, some days were amazing, some exhausting, frustrating, pick your adjective, i felt it.

you ready?

i got....ENGAGED!!! oh yes, the most romantic, completely spontaneous proposal story ever (which by the way, we wont be able to share with our families...if you know what i mean *wink*) i don't have any pretty sparkly bling pics for you as of yet because the proposal came before the ring lol so right now i'm just wearing my claddagh ring on my left hand, which on its own has a lot more meaning to the both of us than a diamond.

along with all the happy, theres been some not so happy. i gained maybe 15 lbs of what i previously lost, back. i think a combination of more time at home (as opposed to being at school for most of the day) which gave me more time to snack and make bad food choices and not being as active like i was during the semester let me pack on the pounds again.

i'm not going to make any rousing motivational speeches, i'm just here to say i'm back. i'm going to make an effort to blog here at least once a week, because it does help a lot to keep me focused and help me get things out on "paper" to help me work through the rough spots. no more trying to muscle through and do it on my own with no support. this time i'm asking for help when i need it.

as all great starts go, i've got a fridge and pantry stocked with healthy eats, a sweet little lunchbox to carry my healthy lunch to school, and a stack of great recipes to keep me full and fired up this winter.

i took a couple steps back, but heres to taking the first step forward once again.

weakness (and the strength you can find from admitting to it)

so here's me saying i'm not perfect y'all.

i completely surprised myself when i realized that all motivational crap i was using to fill space on here was just that. crap. i don't know if i was trying to convince you guys, or myself, but i was pretending.

i forgot to stay true to myself and be honest with myself. i started this blog for me. then people started to read and follow and i started censoring myself and tried with all my might to make this blog sound anything but whiny and emotional. or god-forbid, boring.

you know the old adage that the more you tell a lie, you start to believe it yourself? we'll thats what happened. i kept feeling shitty but i made it sound like i was hanging tough. but the more i tried to pretend, the shittier i felt about it.

i knew it was bad when i felt like i was letting my readers down before i felt like i was letting myself down.
so i just stopped writing. stopped pretending.
i needed to either live in my misery, or struggle through it.
i got to the point where i was ok with the idea of not blogging anymore. i think for the first time i understood why some people just up and disappear forever from the blogrolls. and i think i needed that. i needed to get to the point where going a month without blogging didn't make me feel guilty. or backsliding a bit didn't make me horrible. it just means i have be twice as strong to go back down the road to my goals instead of settling where i am.

i'm not going to force myself to be chipper or motivational for you guys, because i'm still trying to motivate myself. i'm still trying to believe my personal pep talks.

here's me admitting that i am, and was, weak.
and that makes me feel stronger.

it's been a trip y'all...

girlfriend ain't doing so well folks.

in the past two weeks i've gone up, and down, and over again. and i'm not even talking about my weight here.

i kind of screwed myself when i started off the weekend before finals with a "fuckmydiet" attitude. i was studying for hours at a time, and when it came time to scarf something down my mind was on everything but getting in my fruits and veggies.
 then came finals week. INsane stress y'all. little sleep, lots of carbs/caffiene. but when it was over, instead of going back to eating well i justified bingeing on cheese curls and margaritas and chocolate covered things by telling myself i was celebrating.
and THEN...this saturday some heavy family shit came to light and sent me spiraling real fast toward anxiety attacks and depression. i fought to get over that by downing wendys and peanut butter eggs.
did i mention i also quit smoking 3 weeks ago?

yeahhhhhh.

its been fun.

the long and the short of it is, i've gained like...5+ lbs in 2 weeks and i feel awful. my body feels heavy and sluggish. i'm not happy. and not being happy about my body doesnt really help with trying to feel better about everything thats going on.

this is me saying enough. i could let this put me into a 3 month food coma, but i'm not. i'm not letting my mother's problems ruin my happiness too.

i know i make declarations like this often, but i think its important. not for repetions sake, but to keep reminding myself that i have a person to take care of. me. above anyone else, i have to take care of me.

in better news, i passed all my classes! 2 a's and 2 b's. woooohooo!!! all that hard work definitely paid off. cant wait to go back in the fall.

i'm going to make a better effort to post on here more often...this place gives me more support than i've ever found anywhere. i loves you dudes.