it's been a trip y'all...

girlfriend ain't doing so well folks.

in the past two weeks i've gone up, and down, and over again. and i'm not even talking about my weight here.

i kind of screwed myself when i started off the weekend before finals with a "fuckmydiet" attitude. i was studying for hours at a time, and when it came time to scarf something down my mind was on everything but getting in my fruits and veggies.
 then came finals week. INsane stress y'all. little sleep, lots of carbs/caffiene. but when it was over, instead of going back to eating well i justified bingeing on cheese curls and margaritas and chocolate covered things by telling myself i was celebrating.
and THEN...this saturday some heavy family shit came to light and sent me spiraling real fast toward anxiety attacks and depression. i fought to get over that by downing wendys and peanut butter eggs.
did i mention i also quit smoking 3 weeks ago?


its been fun.

the long and the short of it is, i've gained like...5+ lbs in 2 weeks and i feel awful. my body feels heavy and sluggish. i'm not happy. and not being happy about my body doesnt really help with trying to feel better about everything thats going on.

this is me saying enough. i could let this put me into a 3 month food coma, but i'm not. i'm not letting my mother's problems ruin my happiness too.

i know i make declarations like this often, but i think its important. not for repetions sake, but to keep reminding myself that i have a person to take care of. me. above anyone else, i have to take care of me.

in better news, i passed all my classes! 2 a's and 2 b's. woooohooo!!! all that hard work definitely paid off. cant wait to go back in the fall.

i'm going to make a better effort to post on here more often...this place gives me more support than i've ever found anywhere. i loves you dudes.