oh. hi....

perhaps you may have noticed a slight decrease in the posts department over here?

yea. about that...

i found a loophole around not being able to post from my laptop. this is true.
i can post from school. also true.

i am absolutely, 100% not pleased/feeling majorly guilty about sucking hard in the weight-loss/eating well/exercise department. majorly true.

i've been avoiding posting like the plague. i just shudder at the thought of coming here day after day and posting about how i need to work harder and so clearly am NOT doing so.

clearly, a wake-up call needs to happen. i've become more and more content each day with crappy (oh and i mean crappppy) eating habits i would have flipped out about mere months ago. no good.

i'm straddling a line here. i could go back. really, i could. no one could stop me really. but do i want to go back? do i want to go back to dying each time i climb the stairs? do i want to totally eradicate the progress i've made so far? just to eat junk food and veg out?

fuck. that.

i'm doing it. just fucking doing it. no giving up. no excuses.

here on out.


snowed in and kickin ass...

we've got maaaajor snow here, but lemme tell ya what, there is no better workout than shoveling snow.

my undying need for freedom from cabin fever has me out in the white stuff, shoveling like a pro. after a few hours of scooping and tossing onto an ever-towering wall of snow, my arms and legs are tight and burning, but i was loving it. i love being outside in the snow. though frankly i wanted to jump into it and build a fort more than i wanted to do work, but my dad and i paired up and worked alternately to clear out both our cars and the rest of the driveway out to the road. if the township doesn't send someone to plow, we'll be back out there again tomorrow clearing the 4 foot high snow drifts that stretch all the way up our quarter mile lane. jeebus.

but the payoff? 1 hour of shoveling burns 500 calories. !!! um? win!?!

i've decided to start posting my calorie goals and activity again. it definitely helped me stay on top of things. i've also started logging my food on fitday.com. when i was losing consistently i got into the habit of being able to judge my food by sight, but i'm feeling the need for a little structure. no one is gonna make me do it but me, so hey, here's me saying its time to do work. time to find that place where i just do it, that place where i'm pumped and focused and committed. i'm gonna pretend that the "ball" is made of spun sugar and full of something precious, like dreams and newborn puppies. i absolutely canNOT drop that ball. think of the puppies!

in other new, i had a really good day today, eating wise. i did go over my initial goal, but the level of effort i was putting in outside demanded some extra calories to burn. at the end of the day, i came in with a pretty good deficit, so i'm not upset.


calorie goal: 2,000
calories eaten: 2,300
snow shoveling-2 hours
calories burned: 1,114 !!!!

till the next time folks!


i still be livin...

i just wanted to check in, let y'all know i'm not dead. my laptop decided to be a dick, and i haven't had the time to blog at school. i'm still here.
still playing with the same damn 4 lbs since mid january. it frustrates me, but i know that if i put some serious effort into it, it would be gone like *that*
i'm not beating myself up terribly over it. my clothes are bigger, so i know i'm losing something from somewhere, and it feels good. real good.
so my goals for the next few weeks is to bust ass. bust it haaard.
goals folks. lets achieve em.