i iron-manned that shit...

holy beezus and ramona....

want a challenge? have your best friend get stuck in your snowy ass driveway and then push that shit till you just can't push no more...

in your pijamas...

my arms and chest and back are just screaming. but it was a hell of a fucking workout. and, bonus: i discovered that the $40 i spent on winter boots instead of spending it on christmas gifts was actually worth it.

in other news...i'm almost at the end of my scale-less challenge. i'm excited and scared about stepping on the scale. and then i'm wondering whether i want to go back to weighing weekly or do it monthly. in all honesty...i busted ass for like half the month and did some serious work. the second half? not so much. i still made progress, true...but i know i could have done so much better. i may compromise and do bi-weekly weigh ins.

i also tried on a few dresses i bought last summer and maaaan. there is a serious difference. they are SO big up in the bust lol. and there's serious improvement in the way they drape on my figure now. now i'm pumped to go shopping for some new sexy dresses. :D

christmas dinner is game-planned like hell, and i'm really excited to see how it'll go. starting wednesday...4 days of baking and cooking and merry making shall commence.

hope everyone has a kick ass holiday! stay strong y'all. no need to fall ass over ankles off the wagon!


another size bites the dust....

hell to the yes people!

last night as i was getting ready for bed, i got a little idea. my jeans are getting looser and looser every week so i thought, why not try on the next size down?

and by fucking god...they fit!

albeit they are quite snug, but they zip and button! that counts as victory to me, no?

the last time i fit into these jeans was the summer of 2006...so needless to say, i'm pretty frigging excited.

on the the next!

goals folks...let's achieve em.


a. perfect. fucking. weekend.

i had an in.sane. weekend.

saturday i went out to the bar for my girl abbey's 21st (belated) birthday party. we had a nice little gathering. did some catching up and gossiping with the chickies, some drinking and bullshitting with the boys and generally had a pretty good time.

sunday...oh my god. that hint i made about possible love in the air? consider it official. i spent an entire day with this guy...just being with each other. he made me breakfast...pancakes. so cute. lol. my head is in the fucking clouds right now. i didn't ever think spending time with anyone could be so comforting and familiar. we've only known each other for a little while, only gone on 3 dates so far, but sometimes, you just have a feeling...

as far as my eating...i've been doing pretty well, despite a new man who cooks like a top chef and a slight increase in alcohol consumption. lol wine just goes so well with fine dining.


calorie goal-1900
calories eaten-1850

calorie goal-2000
calories eaten-2176

calorie goal-1900
calories eaten- 1906


stats/ christmas dinner plan of attack

calorie goal-1900
calories eaten-1924
circuit training- 1 hr
calories burned- 150

calorie goal- 1800
calories eaten- 1400 (i did end up sleeping in till past noon)
walking- 1 hr. 25 mins.
calories burned-309

calorie goal- 1800
calories eaten-1700

this week is going by so fast. i still get the urge to weigh at least once a day but the point is, i don't. i'm sticking with what i said i wanted to do. the eating is slowly becoming second nature, and i have to say, it feels amazing. like, for all those times i said i knew what i was doing and then subconsciously sabotaged my efforts, every day i'm learning a new way of getting through each day stronger and better than the day before. i know what foods to definitely not bring into the house, and i'm making sure i keep the best of it stocked constantly.

my mom and i are planning christmas dinner. for 12 people. 3 of whom are on diets. but 9 of whom are gravy and cheese and stuffing loving whores who demand the impossible from us. lol temptation from HELL. but instead of being intimidated and caving and serving up piles of clam balls and cheese balls and all that fat-trociousness. we are making smaller portions of the things the boys absolutely can't live without, and revamping the rest to make it healthier. also we'll be preparing some alternative dishes for the weight-loss minded who don't want to go nuts.

our family has used christmas dinners/ holiday parties as an excuse indulge on a grand scale. this year, at least my mother and i are sticking to the goals we made. the boys? they are irritatingly thin (not neccesarily healthy, but their asses are forgiving when they eat too much...::evil grin:: for nowww...hehe) but the point is. goals folks...theyre being stuck to, and it feels great. empowering even.

in other news, i won't say much just yet, but there's a possibility for love in the air this winter :)


oatmeal, rock of ages, and self discovery...

first off...oatmeal? we're friendly again. like reaaal friendly. i've been feeling burnt out on cream of wheat and while i was cruising the cereal isle, i looked over at the hot cereals. now let's get something straight. i don't do the fancy oatmeal flavors like date and nut or whatever, i'm one of those people that still are way into dinosaur egg oatmeal.
(which is THE shit by the way. in what other breakfast medium can you start with little eggs and end up with teeny little dinos?! i challenge you to find it.) but i decided to give the jolly quaker another chance and by god he did not disappoint. i picked up the apples and cinnimon flavor, which includes bitty little pieces of dried apples, the only thing i wish there were more of. other than that its a super breakfast. one little packet comes in at under 150 calories and i stay full and satisfied till just before lunchtime. super delish yo. in fact...i think i'm a little obsessed. is it possible to be an oatmeal junkie? just gimme my dark roast and a bowl of that and i'm in heaven.

secondly, rock of ages on broadway.
i wanna go real bad. the only thing, i cannot stand constantine maroulis (of american idol fame) and unfortunately he plays the lead male. sigh. he just looks so ridiculous, and not to mention his overly campy-lothario act. is he really that attractive or just full of his own shit? oh well, they've got some major other talent. enough so that i'm considering going anyway. hmmm...there may be trip to the city in the soonish future.

as far as self discovery goes, i've discovered something about myself this week. i really am strong. i make goals and i have what it takes to chase them down. i may not get there exactly when i plan to, but i will get somewhere, and the only way to go then is onward and up. i think for the first time i'm seeing myself as a success, and a success in progress. i used to think that only once you got to your goal weight could you consider it a success. but now i see that as long as you keep pushing yourself and never settling for half your best, you are already succeeding. success is not measured in pounds and inches. it's measured in the willingness you find inside yourself to go one more day, one day at a time.


week 1? done!...

i can't believe it.

i actually did it. i made it a whole week. i did a personal best with my eating. like...i literally shocked myself with how well i did.

i even kicked ass in the gym, despite a sudden neck injury. i had to put my shredding dreams on hold for the moment, but i'm not letting it hold me back from doing the best that i absolutely can.


calorie goal- 1900
calories eaten- 1911
walking/jogging on tread-35 mins
calories burned-224

calorie goal- 2000
calories eaten- 2203 (for some reason i was really fucking hungry all day. i decided to up my calorie goals a little bit, and use them to try and get more protein into my system so i stay satisfied longer)

calorie goal- 2000
calories eaten- 1978
BL weight loss yoga- 30 minutes
walking on treadmill- 20 minutes
calories burned- 400

one week down, three to go!
let's rock on bitches....


day 4

first things first, i have to reccomend to anyone who feels a little lost, if you feel like giving up, don't....stop right where you are and read this. this chick never fails to make me laugh and also inspire me to kick ass like i know i can.

secondly...dudes, i just had the BEST fucking dinner ever. (well, at least this week) it was totally healthy, and insanely delicious.

i got this little idea today when i was craving pizza hardcore, but didn't wan't to blow my diet for the day.

not entirely original, but it's the first time i've ever made it and it frigging rulllllles.

fresh mini-pizzas with turkey pepperoni

1 whole wheat sandwhich thin, split
1/4 cup tomato sauce
1 cup part skim mozzarella
6-8 slices of turkey pepperoni
1/2 cup chopped red and green peppers

heat oven to 375. place sandwich thin halves on a cookie sheet. spoon tomato sauce over the thins evenly, top each with 3/4 c. of the cheese. arrange pepperoni and top with peppers and the remaining cheese. bake for 5 minutes, set under broiler for 3 minutes or until cheese browns on top. cut each pizza in half and serve.

total calories per serving-531
total fat-26.5
total carbs-37.1

wanna know how good it was?


also, you will notice the empty yogurt container. this evening, i discovered for myself greek yogurt. all i have to say is, why the hell didn't anyone make me try this before?! my grocery store just started carrying it, and i hope they continue, cause i'm pretty sure the little four pack i bought aint gonna last long.

-todays stats-
calorie goal-1800
calories eaten-1656
walking-1 hr 20 mins
calories burned-297



day 3

today was pretty great.

i attempted day two of the shred, but last night i pulled a muscle in my neck pretty badly and the sit ups and push-ups were just agonizing. i did as many of them as i could before feeling like my brainstem was going to detach.

heres me all pumped to get shredding
instead of pussing out though, i put in some time on the treadmill. then, while i was in my gym i realized how depressing it is in there. how i have to force myself to stay in there. i need to decorate in there. do it up so it might be a place i enjoy going and feel great in. i did rearrange some of the equipment to open up some space. also i put up a shelf in front of the tread so that i can plug in my laptop and watch movies or tv episodes while i walk. better than staring at the clock.

i'm gonna bust out a serious walk tomorrow while the little booger's napping. i've got a new movie from netflix i haven't watched yet, and how better a way to spend an hour or two?

i've also found a pretty effective pre-workout snack: 1 slice bread or pita spread with 2 tbsp reduced fat peanut butter. its about 300 cals but it keeps me satisfied since i don't usually eat a huge lunch, and packs some good protien. apples and pb is great too, but until payday i'm fruit and veggieless except for half a grapefruit, and really, grapefruits can suck it.

now for some stats-

calorie goal- 1800
calories eaten- 1853
shred level 1- 8 minutes
walking on treadmill

dude though, even 8 minutes of shred has me sorrrre! i know the more weight i lose the easier it will be to do the whole thing. so...goals folks! lets achieve em!

oh, and this totally floored me the other day watching tv with the kid.....

it's called Pop the Pig. you'd think in a country that has such a huge problem with obesity among children and adults they would pass up the idea for a children's game that involves you stuffing a pig full of hamburgers until it pops. i'm a bit disgusted by it really. seems ridiculously counterproductive.

till tomorrow y'all


a great start/ *new progress pics*

today is day 2 of going scale free. i feel like i'm off to a really great start. i did weigh in yesterday and found i was up 1 lb, but thats way better than the 6 lbs the scale kept showing. oi.

yes...marvel at my paleness and the teeny spot
of green nailpolish i'm too lazy to just chip off

i've been eating really well yesterday and today, staying right inside my calorie goals. i've cut a lot of high carby foods, or reduced the amount of the ones i can't live without. i also have been sticking to my plan of drinking only water and coffee. no juices or tea or soda for a while.

i'm going to be taking a page out of rachel @ body by pizza's book and regularly post stats. i feel like it will help me hold myself accountable. i'll be posting my calorie goals, intake, and activity. i'm starting the shred tonight, so hopefully i'll be busting out some serious calorie burns along with my regular walks and gym time.

calorie goal- 1800
calories eaten- 1753
35 minute walk

calorie goal-1800
calories eaten- 1803
shred level 1 (20 minutes)

and now for the moment that has me really tickled....my newest progress pic!

i cannot believe that the same jeans that, just a few months ago were so tight i couldn't sit down in without being afraid they'd split, are now getting very loose. every week they fit better and better and soon they just won't fit at all. lol look how baggy they are in the ass! god, every time i take a new picture i just am blown away that there is an actual difference. sunday i went over to my moms for dinner and i wore a tighter shirt than i have the past couple times i've seen her. when i took my coat off she just...looked. then smiled. it felt so good. this hard work i'm doing. it really does show.

alright, it's definitely a start. forward momentum! onward! :)