5.12.2010

it's been a trip y'all...

girlfriend ain't doing so well folks.

in the past two weeks i've gone up, and down, and over again. and i'm not even talking about my weight here.

i kind of screwed myself when i started off the weekend before finals with a "fuckmydiet" attitude. i was studying for hours at a time, and when it came time to scarf something down my mind was on everything but getting in my fruits and veggies.
 then came finals week. INsane stress y'all. little sleep, lots of carbs/caffiene. but when it was over, instead of going back to eating well i justified bingeing on cheese curls and margaritas and chocolate covered things by telling myself i was celebrating.
and THEN...this saturday some heavy family shit came to light and sent me spiraling real fast toward anxiety attacks and depression. i fought to get over that by downing wendys and peanut butter eggs.
did i mention i also quit smoking 3 weeks ago?

yeahhhhhh.

its been fun.

the long and the short of it is, i've gained like...5+ lbs in 2 weeks and i feel awful. my body feels heavy and sluggish. i'm not happy. and not being happy about my body doesnt really help with trying to feel better about everything thats going on.

this is me saying enough. i could let this put me into a 3 month food coma, but i'm not. i'm not letting my mother's problems ruin my happiness too.

i know i make declarations like this often, but i think its important. not for repetions sake, but to keep reminding myself that i have a person to take care of. me. above anyone else, i have to take care of me.

in better news, i passed all my classes! 2 a's and 2 b's. woooohooo!!! all that hard work definitely paid off. cant wait to go back in the fall.

i'm going to make a better effort to post on here more often...this place gives me more support than i've ever found anywhere. i loves you dudes.

7 comments:

  1. Congrats on passing!! I bet you feel better. Just get back to what you know and that 5 pounds will come back off. You can do it!!!

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  2. Gratz on passing those are awesome grades!! Dont worry to much about the pounds you put on once you get back to eating right and excersisign they will come off. I had some family drama and crap going on that made me eat and drink like crazy for 2 weeks. But I have detoxed and I feel better! I know you can do it, and you are right you need to take care of yourself first!!!

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  3. Finals can be really stressful. I gave mine last week and boy! I was on a eating spree too!

    Congrats on passing well! Get back into the groove and you'll lose those 5 and more in no time :)

    Good luck

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  4. I know how stressful the end of school can be, hell how stressful all of school can be. That is part of the freshman fifteen that really continues on to the sophomore, junior, and senior levels too!

    So glad that you recognize it and are putting a halt on your gain now before it gets out of hand. A 5lb gain is nothing too bad and you can handle that easily.

    I feel ya on the family stuff too. I have learned to just let some that crap go and focus on me. Sounds like that is what you plan to do as well. You are the most important thing in your life and you know it.

    Get back on track and stay there. I know that you can do it. We are all here to cheer you on and you can vent to us all you want.

    Hugs!

    <*a href*="HTTP://www.fightingtobehealthy.blogspot.com"*>)<*/a*>

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  5. congrats on your classes

    and great job being accountable and moving on

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  6. I'm a couple days late reading this. Sorry. Congrats on your grades.

    Bigger congrats on your attitude. It takes a lot of strength to be able to say you aren't going to head for the food coma. I've been there so many times and the bingeing is just so easy to fall into. Tough it out girl. You can do it.

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  7. I've been wondering about you, my friend. Glad to see you're doing well in school! Time to get your act together and start doing the things you know you need to do to feel good about yourself. You deserve that!!!

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