the beautiful human machine...

have you ever stood in front of the mirror and just...jiggled your fat? ever laid in bed and pinched a fat roll? chicks with every body type punish themselves for the way we don't look, but i think some of us punish ourselves overtime. we beat ourselves up, ourselves names and ridicule the body we have.

sometimes i get out of the shower and just stare in loathing at my belly or thighs. i look in the rear view mirror and curse my full cheeks and round face. when i'm out shopping i undress with my back turned.

god, why do we do this? we make ourselves unacceptable in our minds constantly and hardly ever take into consideration just how amazing our bodies can be. we focus only on the negative, the flaws, but these bodies that we curse and hate are so...alive. they move us. they breathe and talk and cry. they let us earn our livings, feel the seasons and wrap our arms around a friend or brother, lover, dog, pillow. we think. we create. without our bodies we wouldn't exist.

whenever i find myself hating on my body pretty harshly i try to get back in touch with what it is i love about myself. i remind myself how my eyes shine honey gold in the sun. i think of the things that make me, me.

the thing is...you have to take care of yourself. take care of your body. and that doesn't mean cram it with health food or slave in the gym. i can lose weight by cursing the way my stomach moves, torture my body at the gym for hours and never let myself enjoy my food. i could lose weight that way. but i guarantee you in 6 months, six weeks, 6 days down the line i'd be hiding in the kitchen sneaking food and sabotaging myself when all i needed was to enjoy being alive, being me, laughing and playing and smiling. i'm a daughter, a sister, a woman, crazy, quirky, smart, funny and i've got a hell of a lot more going for me than just the flaws i see in the mirror.

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