its offish...

i'm officially an undergrad intern at Manito Behavioral Health and Human Services/ Laurel Life in Chambersburg PA!!

i had an AMAZING interview today....it feels so good!

see, i have this little pre-interview ritual. i've done it for every interview i've ever had. the day of my interview (or night before if its an early morning interview) i give myself a manicure/pedicure with Rimmel #660 Climax, a big, bold, brilliant purple. i call it my Power Purple, cause it does just that, makes me feel powerful. the next step is to crank some inspirational tunes, such as Ego by Beyonce/Sasha Fierce (duh), Don't Stop Believin' by Journey, Can't Touch This by MC Hammer, and a whole playlist of music to get my blood pumping and my confidence soaring. next, i put on my sexiest lingerie, usually a vampy bra/panty combo, and dance around my room while i get dressed. i dunno what it is, but it gives me an extra boost of confidence going into even the tamest interview dressed to kill (at least underneath). and there you go my friends, my secret for killer interviews.

and unfortunately, as awesome as today was, about 20 minutes after i left my interview, i had a HUGE anxiety attack. anxiety is an equal opportunity disorder, happy news or sad or anything in between is open for it to hit. i started worrying if i would fail, be stupid and get fired, just be stupid in general and ohmygod what if i dont even know what i'm doing, thisisgonnabehorriblejustgobackandtellthemno. i felt bipolar. up and down, balls to the wall excited and crushed on the floor anxious.

and so enters the Binge. spazzing, gottaeateverythinginthehouse and gobuyjunkfood freaking out in my head. i got about halfway through a really bad binge, nearly to the point of making and consuming a whole pan of brownies myself, and i just stopped cold. i threw everything away and went upstairs. lit an awesome new candle, put on some music and just tried to relax around my upset stomach.

life is crazy y'all, even the best day can make me run for food, not just the bad. but the point is i stopped, i didnt let my horror and shame and disgust at myself send me into a chocolate/food coma.

i went with the good. i called my fiance, cried and laughed and got my irrational fears out and quashed them, and celebrated my huge accomplishment.

and i'm just so freakin excited! the insane workload that is now on my shoulders is intimidating, but i'm going to do it, and i'm going to do it like a champ.

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