in the past month i have really been working hard. making a lot of forward momentum and gaining heaps of motivation and setting myself attainable and worthwhile goals. in short; i have been kicking major ass.
about 3 months ago, my father moved back in with me. i had been living on my own in our family home for a year and a half. at that point i wasn't really trying to make many changes to the way i lived, ate, and moved but i was conscious of it. now, here's the rub. my father makes terrible food choices. pizza and beer several times a week. hot wings. more beer. generally anything fried, fatty or alcoholic he digs. then he came to me and said "Erin, i think we should get serious about getting healthy. start walking and cooking more and eating better." i thought "Awesome, this is just the extra motivation i needed!" and set down to making goals and menu planning and working out. but after a week or so...i was doing it on my own. there started to be a re-entrance of unhealthy food groups into our house. i got mad. i know that if i keep certain things out of the house, i don't even think about them.
so tonight, when my dad came home from the doctor's office, what did he bring home for his dinner? fried chicken and not one but 2 boxes of ice cream cones and ice cream sandwiches. and why? to cool him down. WHAT?! THE?! FUCK?! if you want to cool down you drink ice water or take a cool shower, or at the very least have a popsicle. he's making excuses to eat terribly. he uses his bed as a dining room. he lays in bed and eats all day and night long. i am seriously worried about him, but at the same time, i can't help but be enraged that he's bringing these things into the house. i've asked him more than once. i've asked him to bring home only a single portion for himself instead of several.
i had planned a very tasty and healthy chicken caesar salad for dinner. instead, the second i smelled the fried chicken, i wanted some. i fought it, hard. i even left the house for a while to try and get past it. but in the end, i decided that instead of foregoing the fried chicken and eating something else but still craving the stuff and bingeing later, i would have one piece along with some vegetables and leftover pasta from dinner last night. it was okay as far as dinners go. but i know that i have to weigh in tomorrow. i'm feeling anxious to go get in the gym. i want this out of my system NOW!
from now on...its over. i'm imposing a law. no more of that crap when i have spent precious time making menu plans and grocery shopping for healthy meals for both of us. if he wants to eat that junk...he can go for it. but i refuse to feel bad when his health problems decline even more because of it. i don't want it in my house anymore. ever.
so sayeth me. so i damn well expecteth it will be done.
::breathe in, breathe out:: ok. rant over.
in other news, while i was browsing blogs the other night, i came across this post on Tales of an Ordinary Life. the gist of it is that you make a list of 101 things/goals/activites you want to accomplish in 1001 days. created by Day Zero, the mission is to complete 101 preset goals in the 1001 day period (approx. 2.75 years). the tasks must be specific (no ambiguity) and the results must be measurable and require some amount of effort on your part.
since i'm an insane lover of lists, this appealed to me automatically. i decided to start working on MY list, tentatively because it is taking way longer to come up with 101 goals than i thought. currently i'm at about 40 or so. but it's a work in progress and one i'm definitely excited to do. once completed, i will post my list here for the world to see (or the random few followers and tagalongs i do have lol i love you all by the way :) )
also Tricia down at Fight Fat Phobia is having a giveaway! a whole big pile of awesome! but don't enter! i want!
alrighty y'all. i'm off to the gym to replace the fried chicken in my veins with adrenaline! raWR!