when i was in my early teens i actually thought i was gay because i was so obsessed with the female body. i constantly studied women's bodies and shapes because i was so sure i didn't have a shape. i thought of myself as a blob shape, a big round circle, and at best an oval.
it wasnt until i realized a woman's body is made up of many shapes, and to try and become a cookie cutter woman was impossible, that i did have a woman's body. it was me shaped. i'm made up of a collection of shapes. i'm made up of colors. textures. perfections and flaws. all women are differently shaped, and while we should be celebrating our shapes, improving when we can, and accepting when we can't, we constantly focus on the shapes of other women. not even identical twins have the same exact body. why on earth should we try to force our bodies into someone elses shape? it's crazy.
today as it was nearing lunchtime, i started thinking about what i would like to eat. while planning my tasty healthy lunch i remembered eating in the past this amazing macaroni and cheese from a tiny deli in my town. then i started obsessing over it. god it would be so good! macaroni and cheese is one of my favorites. when i make a pot of mac i usually end up scarfing it like a crack addict. it's one thing i've had to keep out of the house. i figure if i really want it, i can go out and buy a single serving.
so when i went to the grocery store to pick up a few things for a recipe i'm making friday night, i decided to get a small container of mac and cheese, instead of getting a whole box. i got home and fixed my plate. i had a spicy tuna salad sandwich, some crunchy potato chips, grapes, and my grocery store prize. i didn't eat it out of the container, i put it in a fancy bowl. visually, it was boring. pale and squishy. it kind of turned me off, but i set the table and sat down to eat. then about halfway through my sandwich and fruit, i noticed with surprise that i hadn't even touched my so-coveted side dish. so i picked up my fork, and scooped up a bite. and found it completely lacking. where was the rush i always felt when i had eaten it before? did it always taste this way? i honestly think it always did. but when i made it a forbidden food in the past, it made it all the more alluring. all the more terribly desirable. i could have laughed at how uninspired i was by it. i make from scratch 1000x better macaroni and cheese.
it was a lunchtime revelation. it was awesome
for dinner i cooked a fabulous, delicious, satisfying meal. i made a perfect, tender venison tenderloin, smashed garlic and herb potatoes, a green salad and crusty french bread. it was so good, and it was a total hit with the fam. i'm going to post for your reading and cooking pleasure, my steak recipe.Smoky Parmesan Peppercorn Steak Marinade
(everything to taste...i don't do measuring. i go freestyle)
-extra virgin olive oil, enough to coat a decent sized beef or pork tenderloin
-crushed black peppercorns (about 1-2 tsps worth)
-parmesan peppercorn ranch dressing (i hate this on salad but it's good for a lot of other things)
-parsley to taste.
-whisk thoroughly and brush onto meat of choice. coat both sides well. (i usually pierce the meat several times to allow the flavor of the marinade to sink into the meat)
-bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes.
-allow to rest for 10-15 minutes and then cut into 1/2 in. slices.
bon apetite mes amis!