saved by bad internet...

oh gosh.

ok...time for an intervention. my name is erin gunnett and i am addicted to shopping.

my surprise windfall put in me an incredibly strong urge to shop. the internet makes it so easy to just go wild. that and i found my credit card today. (backstory: i hid it. apparently really well. i think i need to hide it again) cut to hours later i've got a massive shopping cart (over $100) and a frantic desire to complete checkout. as i was trying to sign-in to the sites checkout feature, i got a message. my session timed out...? huh? never had that before. after like...20 tries, i took it as devine intervention.

now, to my credit, since i lost my job i've only done one mini shopping binge so it's not like i'm blowing all my money all the time. but i've been a compulsive shopper for years, and for much of the same reasons that i became a compulsive eater. shopping gives me a rush. a big big rush. even wal-mart isn't safe for me...in fact it could be worse there because i can get more things for less than at other places. things i rarely use or wear. i try to pretend my bills don't exist. i think i try to convince myself i'm not broke by spending the money i have (and sometimes what i don't have...hello credit!) i'm not in massive debt, but enough to make my life difficult. i pay off a little on a credit card and hey! shopping spree. online shopping is like heroin. i'm on one shopping site or another at least once a day...usually way way more. i've managed to slake my hunger for shopping by creating wish list after wish list. its almost like shopping, only you never spend the money and never get the stuff. you do waste a shitload of time though.

so today was a shock. i almost blew money i don't have. again. a lot of it. so i'm fighting back.
-i'm going to challenge myself to go a month and a half without going to an online store. no more browsing. no more wish-listing. for a month and a half.
-i'm going to also control my shopping and browsing at wal-mart and restrict it only to things i absolutely need (i.e. groceries).
-i'm freezing my credit cards. literally. covering the numbers and everything.
-also...no more take-out, fast food or impulse buying. i'm exempting restaurants, because sometimes you just gotta go out. but when i do, it's going to be somewhere worth it.
-i think i'm also going to look into shopaholics anonymous. it could be benefitial.

i just have to keep an extra conscious eye on my eating habits. i shop emotionally the same way i eat, and usually when you starve one hunger, it intensifies another.

anybody else struggle with this? any tips on fighting it? anyone have any crazy shopping binge stories?

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