so, yesterday i was driving around town, running errands and i decided to stop and get some lunch. but where to? subway? nah. what i really wanted was a cheeseburger.
first step was deciding if i could handle going to a fast food place and not going nuts. yup...i could.
step two was calming my anxiety about going into a restaurant alone. not a lot of people know this about me, but i have severe anxiety sometimes about eating in public. especially alone. for years anytime i ate fast food i used the drive thru and stuffed my face in shame and in private. so i sit for a while in the car. i breathe. i assign a number value to my anxiety level. i wait until that number goes down by at least two and then i go in.
next step is deciding what to order. when i used to eat wendy's a lot i always ordered a double cheeseburger, large fry and large root beer. i knew calorie and fat wise that was a really terrible decision and probably more food and drink than i could comfortably eat. so i downgraded. i got a regular cheeseburger, medium fry and root beer, and a frosty jr. (about 3/4 c.) i took my tray and found a table. i chose a table in the center of the restaurant, in view of other people. before i started eating i assesed my anxiety level and waited for it to go down a bit. i unwrapped my food, arranged it and dug in.
i enjoyed it immensely, did not feel ashamed for eating fast food, and didn't stuff myself full and make myself sick.
ohhh yea. another win for moi.