weekend update: enter if you dare.....

oh man! having such a great weekend so far! my brother came home for a visit this weekend and we've been gettin into some great stuff. i was missin that kid pretty hardcore.

first things first: my spoooooky fridge!


lol think it'll keep me focused? i kept giggling like a dork at the "enter if you dare" context.

today we carved pumpkins and had a serious blast, tomorrow is dinner at the mom's and an apple pie bake-off!

guts and gunnetts!

ahh pumpkin carving...a forgotten art. (left: craig's Drexel Dragon right: mine! jack skellington)

pretty badass if do say so myself (and i do!)

on the weight loss front, i've been definitely working harder at eating more balanced and way less junk. all the candy and sweets are gonegonegone so they will no longer be a temptation. i'm trying like hell to work hard and meet my 15 lb goal this thursday. getting my schedule back in order and keeping track of my foods better will definitely help me achieve that goal.

on another note:
i've also been thinking a lot about body image and what motivates each of us as we take this journey. Jen had a great post yesterday about what motivates her, and it planted a thought seed in my brain. what is it that motivates people? is it looking hot like we did way back when? is it a smaller jeans size? health? family?

everyone has different and intensely personal reasons and motivations for wanting to lose weight. for some they want the body they used to have back, that place in time where they felt they looked best. and let me say up front...there is not a thing wrong with this kind of motivation...if it works for you, then it works, and keep going on with your bad self. but for me, i hated my body for much of my adolesence and never really experienced the pleasure some feel at being slim. but i found my own pleasure as i got older and learned to appreciate the body i had. i found my confidence, learned that no matter what size i am: i am beautiful. maybe the world doesn't think so, but i do. i see my curves and the shape of my figure and don't automatically think: disgusting! i see a story, a person made up of all the aspects of my life. i am motivated to lose weight because i have a life to lead, one that i know will benefit from being healthier. hell yes i want smaller jeans, but that desire is in no way near the top of my list of reasoning. sure, physically i might enjoy seeing a slimmer me, but my life is not defined, nor my beauty or my opinion of myself, by the personal preferences and attractions of other people.

i'm also very motivated by the fact that i want a family, and health-wise it's no lie that being overweight and pregnant/a parent is a big risk. one i'm not willing to take lightly. i want to be able to be healthy for my child or children. i want to be a good example of loving yourself no matter what size, but also a healthy one. i don't have to be a size zero to be healthy. i don't have to be a size 10 to be healthy. i try and remind myself of this fact every time i start obsessing over clothing sizes.

everyone has different goals and motivations and ways that they define themselves in this endeavor, these are just a few of mine. what are some of yours